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06 November 2008

[taxchat] Re: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road ? (NEW VERSION)

Too funny! LOL


--- In taxchat@yahoogroups.com, "JoJo Zawawi" <kuchekesha@...> wrote:
>
> WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
>
> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change!
> The chicken wanted change!
>
> JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a
> maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with
> all the chickens on the other side of the road.
>
> SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to cross the road because he was not able to
> find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a
> bridge, he'd have to build it himself.
>
> JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because he was heading back to
> Scranton.
>
> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
> chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
> ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance
> it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
> just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
> chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
>
> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
>
> COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
> satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
>
> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
> definition of chicken?
>
> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
>
> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
> against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
> chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
>
> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
>
> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
> he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes
> after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help
> him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems
> before adding new problems.
>
> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
> he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
> from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
> this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
> his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
> have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
> the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
> information.
>
> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
>
> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>
> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
> of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
> its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
> in peace.
>
> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross
> roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
> checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new
> platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
> move beneath the chicken?
>
> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
>
> -- // --
>

------------------------------------

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